Preschool

Ever since the twins were born, I have known where I wanted them to go to preschool. I had thought about splitting them up, so as to not hinder Jackson’s learning by him helping his brother and also to not hinder Joseph’s learning by his brother doing things for him (which he does naturally). But splitting them up seems wrong to me, they are twins after all and I want that normal twin thing for them. Why? I don’t know but I do. I know it should not be a biggie for me but it IS.

Now, this past week, I picked up registration forms for them at HLC. Got the papers home and started to fill them out and read this:

2 year old class Tuesday & Thursday 9:00 -11:30 a.m.

3 year old class Tuesday & Thursday 12:00 – 3:00 p.m.

4′s & 5′s class M, W, F 9:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.

My heart sank….3 year olds? noon? three? what? I immediately I thought that cannot be right. Can it? Surely not. It must be a miss print. My boys cannot. CANNOT go to preschool during those hours. My heart sank deeper and I started to get choked up. I tried to talk about it but all I could do was cry.

We are going to work on Joseph’s IEP soon and I was prepared to fight for him to go to HLC (our school tends to bully families and send kids to BVP). I. DO. NOT. WANT. JOSEPH. AT. BVP. EVER. My world was closing in, it seemed as if Joseph would go to BVP and I would have to send Jackson with him. I was preparing myself to compromise their educations to meet their personal needs. Personal needs?

Yes, see, Joseph takes Trileptal for his seizures and it knocks him in the dirt after he takes it and sleeps it off. He takes it mid-morning and at bedtime. Jackson still needs a nap….he is a TOTAL B-E-A-R without a nap (Chicago and dinnertime will not be fun). We get up at 7 or so each morning, go about our day, take meds, have lunch at noon or so and then in bed between 1 and 1:30 for naps til 4.

But, I “could” have Joseph placed in the 2′s class if I get a note from his doctor stating he must have a morning class due to stamina issues caused by hypotonia AND medication. Ok, my boy can go to HLC assuming the school system agrees. BUT I cannot put Jackson in the 2′s class. He is too far ahead of a 2 year old for that. He know all of his shapes, all of his colors, and can count (some). Joseph? Not so much, so a 2′s class would be ideal because he can do three years of preschool with no repeats before going to Kindy at age 6.

So, what to do with Jackie? Well, I will send him to Miss Lenora’s school across town from 9-noon on Tuesday & Thursday. Miss Lenora taught Jared and I really, REALLY like her.

But once again, my boys will not be going to preschool together. My heart is sad. Not broken, but definitely sad.

Anyhow, now for the good thoughts and prayers, etc. Please pray the school system does not bunk me too hard on this. I know HLC is the BEST for Joseph and just need the school to agree. Also, pray this is not too hard on Joseph and Jackson as they begin their educations as separate siblings in separate buildings at separate schools. Yes, I knew at some point in time, it was likely to happen–the fact that I would need to hold Joseph back and let Jackson forge forward. I just really did not want to do it at age 3. It hurt my heart to have to do it at 5 or 6 or 10 or 11. I imagine this will lead to Jackson going to Kindy at age 5 and Joseph waiting til he is 6.

There are benefits, I will be able to attend each graduation with no problem. They will learn to be independent young men, separate from one another but tied forever by their twinness. But still, through my misty eyes, I don’t want to accept it.

Disgust does not even touch how I feel about these people

I recently read a news story that literally brought bile up into the back of my throat and led to tears stinging my face, now hot with rage, as I finished the story.

The story is about a couple, who were blessed enough to not be able to conceive children. Yes, you read that right. They were BLESSED in the ability to not be able to conceive. Yet, sadly and regretfully, they were able to utilize IVF to get pregnant. And yes, once again, you read that right.

Normally, I would say a couple wanting children but unable to conceive were not blessed in this struggle and if they had the option of IVF I would say they were blessed. These coins are obviously, ironically, flipped in this sad, sickening turn of events.

The story can be found here: Florida Doctor Aborts Wrong Twin Fetus


I feel so many things about these beings, the ignorant doctor and those poor souls killed at the hands of the very people who should have loved them and cared for them.  IGNORANCE. KILLED. TWO. INNOCENT. BABIES. WHO. WOULD. HAVE. BEEN. JUST. LIKE. MY. BOYS.

There is no justice in this situation. NONE. The only justice I can be seen is for this woman's womb to forever be infertile and for her arms to never experience the joy of holding a newborn living being. Harsh? Hell yes it is!  I believe the doctor should be jailed on murder charges and sent to the chair. I believe the woman and man (I cannot, WILL NOT, refer to them as parents--for that is a disgrace to parents like myself) should be charged as accessories to murder.

They make me want to vomit. VOMIT. My face is hot from anger again just from writing this blog. IGNORANCE KILLS. Plain and simple. This is so unfair on every level imaginable. I know life isn't fair and blah, blah. But still, it is UNFAIR. I have a woman, I consider my friend, I have blogged about her and her daughter, Gabriella, previously. Gabby passed away following her open heart surgery. Gabby's mom and her husband are challenged when it comes to conceiving, they LOVE ALL of their girls...even they one the woman and man, from the news story, would call defective.

Gabby's mom LOVES her with every ounce of her being and she has become a fierce advocate for people with Down syndrome and and advocate AGAINST TERMINATION of a pregnancy. Sadly, Gabby's parents  are not blessed with the ability to use IVF to conceive but I can guarantee you if they could...her momma would jump for joy with the babes in her womb and she would do so even if they had Down syndrome.

It is sad, that in today's world, a doctor. A man, sworn by the hippocratic oath to care for people would have no problem killing babies with disabilities....but felt sick as soon as he realized he had sent a lethal dose of chemicals into the "healthy" baby girl.  Disgusting. UTTERLY. DISGUSTING. Now, do I think these babies should have died? No, I don't. I am heart broke by their loss. Truly. However, I believe these parents got exactly what they paid for. DEATH OF A CHILD. They did not deserve either child. Maybe next time, and I hope there is NOT a next time, they will better weigh their options and choose to remain childless. Some people just aren't meant to be parents.

Thank GOD in HEAVEN ABOVE I was though I never believed it to be the path I wanted in life, and even more so, I was MEANT to be the parent of boy with Down syndrome.  Never doubt it, God knows exactly what he is doing.

It's Friday but Sunday's coming.

Well, I am back from a short lived sabbatical due to my course work more than anything. I really thought Marketing would be a cake walk for me. Man, I think that was a very misinformed decision on my part! LOL

Recently, I had to ask for forgiveness, and apologize for offending someone I would never have intentionally upset or hurt. Thank God, Sherry, accepted my apology. I won't go into details about what I did but I will say this. My own remarks made a mother second guess her own heart and I am so very sorry I did this.

But more so, I am so grateful, Sherry accepted my apologies with no strings attached. She was gracious enough to bless me with forgiveness and, I believe, not think twice about it. I hope I am right about that. I would love for Sherry, her family, and mine to become lifelong friends. We have sons with Down syndrome after all and I like to think we might have an irrevocable connection because of the two boys.

Grace. Grace is what we receive when we don't deserve it. Sherry has shown me grace in forgiveness. She did not have to forgive me for hurting her or making her second guess herself as a mother to her baby boy. But she did and I am better today because of it.

Now, I am not trying to make a Saint out of Sherry. I am simply reflecting on something that happened in my own life and the grace and forgiveness shown by another human being who could have chosen not to forgive me.

I guess the fact that Easter is just around the corner and today being Good Friday has put it a bit more in perspective for me. I know that life is different for everyone, struggles (or whatever you may call them) are judged by each person differently depending on how they affect them personally. But I also know that no matter how bad life may seem on any given day, it might feel like Friday, but you must always remember, Sunday is coming. And thank God above for forgiveness. Because He first loved and forgave me, paid the ultimate cost for sin on the cross. He died and rose again. Oh, yes! It may be Friday but Sunday IS coming!!


Be blessed in all you do, see the wonder that is God in every living creature, love one another and if this is all too heavy for you, I cannot apologize--for it is in my heart but I will leave you with this...

"Here come's Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail. Hippity-hoppity, Easter's on its way!"

World Down syndrome Awareness Day!!!!

Got 47??? LOL

We had a fabulous time at Chuck E. Cheese today to celebrate the day. I met 15 families I had not met before and was just so happy to be a part of the celebration today. We had a little fella who was barely 6 months old and a gal that I believe was in her 40's who came with their families.

I had worked a presentation a couple counties over yesterday and met a couple who had a 9 month old daughter. Sadly, this family has very little supports where they live other than a cousin with a child with Down syndrome as well. I invited this family to the little get-together. I was soooooo happy to see them when the mom said hello to me! What was even better was when I had Joseph come see the baby and he leaned in and gave her the sweetest smooch. I apologized but the mom really seemed to love it.

I really hope the family that got this planned succeed in their attempt to start a DSI chapter in our area. There is definitely a need and a WANT in our community for this type of thing.

My heart is happy today and God is good. I am so blessed and the love abounds in my extended family I have found brought together by this 47th chromosome. I would not have it any other way.