Thinking of adopting?

Having adopted recently, internationally adopted, I've had a few people contact me asking what the first steps were for us and, subsequently, for their family should they decide to move forward with the idea of adopting.

Well, first I recommend reading this book The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family This is a MUST for adoptive families, period. It is a real look at the issues that may or may not be present in a child who has spent their lifetime in an orphanage.

Second, you MUST be ready to give the child in the picture back to God at any given moment. I know this all too well with what happened with Alexander before we committed to (Andriy) Jadon. You also must be aware the children you see and picture in your heart and mind rarely exist. By this I mean the level of neglect, emotional dwarfism, etc. varies GREATLY by each child.

You absolutely cannot go into this expecting to rescue a 2 or 3 year old child (with no known disabilities) and that child be like any typical child you know. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. You also cannot expect to go into this adopting a child with a known disability you are familiar and comfortable with and expect them to be like those you already know. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN.

Now, having said that, I am not trying to "sway" you away from adopting, I am simply painting a real picture. One that must be weighed. Jadon is 3 years old, with Down syndrome (which I am well versed) and is the size of a 1 year old and developmentally that of a 3-6 MONTH old. This has NOTHING to do with Down syndrome. It does, however, have EVERYTHING to do with the level of neglect my child sustained in his early years in a "good" babyhouse.

Sad thing is, this is neglect is so inconsistent from place to place and child to child. I know of children born the same year as Jadon, and with Down syndrome and from Ukraine, that come home walking, talking to an extent and able to self-feed. It is mind boggling how this happens and which kids are chosen as "dumb" and unworthy of even simple teaching.

Jadon now struggles with emotional dwarfism, which is why he is so very small. This happens when children are never touched, held, comforted, etc.

Would I do it again? For Jadon? Yes. Would I do it again if God called us? Yes. I am not entirely sure we are done but we certainly aren't ready right now. Are you?

If so, there are several places you can "find" children and assistance to begin the process. Reece's Rainbow is just one of them. There is also Rainbow Kids, About a Child, the list goes on and on. Truly. Start searching and you will see, there is a need both internationally and domestically.


love,

 "I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Isaiah 45:2-3 (NIV)

Kelsey...oh, be still my heart

Have you been to the Reece's Rainbow site lately? Oh, be still my heart. So many babies, BABIES have been added recently. Kelsey is just one of them. I first saw her a few weeks ago, she comes to my mind and heart daily. Maybe it's the sprout of ginger colored hair I see under her bonnet. Maybe it's the fact that she is just a baby. My heart is pulled by her. I pray her family comes. She is just 3 to 4 months old right now. She is the absolute PERFECT age for adopting. She's in a country that moves swiftly. She could literally be home in time for her 1st birthday and first Christmas. She would fit right in for Early Intervention and never have a memory of the place she resides in now.

This is her blurb of information on the Reece's site: 

"Girl, born October 2011. Kelsey is a sweet baby girl with Down syndrome. 

 She does have a heart condition but her medical records indicate she should not need surgery.  Kelsey knows her caregivers, smiles at them and plays with toys. 

Married couples only, older parent and large families welcome, travel required."

You can click on either picture of Kelsey and 

donate to her fund on the Reece's Rainbow website. 

Your donations are 100% tax deductible. 

I cannot lie, I would love to have Kelsey here. Frankly, in my limited, human mind, I don't see how that can possibly happen. Right now, I am championing for her to find her family, whether that be our family or another, I just want her home! Forever, with her mommy and daddy. Are you her family? Are you willing to share this post with those you know? Will you join me in praying her home? 

love, 

 "I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Isaiah 45:2-3 (NIV)

Run down...

This past Wednesday, the 25th, I pulled a major muscle in my back. So bad, in fact, I could not even move my head to the right within a few hours of the incident. Well, that immediately meant no BootCamp for Thursday and possibly today too.

Thursday morning, I woke up stiff and SICK with only a squeak of a voice. Friday, I woke up utterly exhausted, I had a major "attack" during my sleep and could not breathe ***scared Shawn even*** I went ahead and took the kids to school and then went to Express+Care to get this stuff under control. I had also went to Express+Care on the 4th of January (just 23 days ago) before Jadon had surgery.

Well, apparently, I never 'got over' the borderline pneumonia/definite bronchitis I had on the 4th. I am utterly exhausted. I have not been this exhausted since the time I had mono in '99 and lost 60 lbs in 3 months. The PA I saw today said, "I see you've lost 6.5 lbs since January 4th. You feeling and eating ok?" To which I replied, "I dont' feel 'ok' but I have been dieting since the first of the year and working out regularly (as my body will allow) since January 16th."

I thought that would be a good thing, right? Well...not so much. He told me I am too run down, my lungs too taxed right now for the working out, especially when I admitted I was trying to attend a BootCamp, and then he said, "Two weeks. No working out, even lightly, for two weeks. You must rest. Period. If you don't, the next time you are in here in two weeks, you will be in the hospital."

Really? Well, good kind man, that was uncalled for :)

I am now on a medrol dose pack (steroids), zithromax (again), tessalon pearls (for my wicked cough) and then I start advair once I am done with the medrol dose pack. Nice, eh? Oh, and I am not to talk unless I have too...my kids and husband are going to LOVE that restriction. I have no voice today. None, it comes in patches, but generally, none.

I bowed out of BootCamp today, I called and left Missy a message, I hope she could understand me through my whispers and squeaks...BUT, come March, when I am good and healed and Jadon should be done with his next surgery by then, I am hitting up Missy's Fitness again for her Zumba. I am sticking to this high protein diet too, my belly fat has dropped IMMENSELY already. I cannot believe it. And not eating gluten, my bloat is nearly gone too.

B12 and Vitamin C, anyone?

Love,

"I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Isaiah 45:2-3 (NIV)

Salt and Light

Do you ever wonder if your testimony makes a difference? Do you have just enough salt to enhance something, just enough light to shine through?

I was blessed with a wonderful acknowledgement yesterday. Let me give you a little back-story to set the stage.

February of last year, Shawn and I committed to adoption; more specifically, we committed to Alexander. His pictures have not been on my blog since June of last year...but, I am going to put one back up here for this post.

When our dossier arrived in country, Alexander was not available because his mother had never signed the papers to terminate her parent rights (he was, as we were told, in the 'works' to be available in 2-3 months or so). We did not wish to wait even longer (we were 6 months into our adoption journey already), we were ready to complete our adoption journey and be home with our child. I had been trying for months to get the low down on Alexander to no avail. We moved forward, heavy hearted, but ready to met the child we felt called to, Andriy Igorovich Tverdokhlib--our Jadon. In a sense, we lost the one boy we never truly "had" to lose and that was Alexander. I pray for Alexander regularly. I pray for his family. This past week or so has been very hard on this momma's heart. He weighs so heavy on me still. I know his family HAS to be out there. THEY MUST BE! So much work has been done through this child it is amazing. Surely, God does not intend for him to be an orphan forever. 

Now, I want to talk to you about Lora and Dean. The Lyon family. I met Lora while going through our own adoption pangs. Everyone knew our story, eventually. She knows what happened. She and Dean were waiting to adopt Tanner.

A young boy, born with polycystic kidney disease and could have been adopted prior to June of this year but Ukraine had 'changed the rules' during their adoption stating only children on their approved special needs list could be adopted before age 5. Tanner also was not 5. They began the wait to see if Ukraine would add his diagnosis to the list. We were all encouraged the new list would be announced in October. It wasn't. The Lyons' chose to wait it out, committed to Tanner. Sadly, in December, their choice to wait it out was taken from them when Tanner was moved from his orphanage to the the orphanage Father Mikhail runs in another region of the county. 

So, can you see the parallels in our story? Our boy, not available. Their boy not available. Both situations, truly, out of our control. 

Here's where it gets good. My nettie bff, Julie was in Ukraine adopting Peter and she had the chance to see this gorgeous girl, frequently, and was able to photograph her. She shared those photos with the "waiters" group of gals waiting for their travel dates. Well, Lora saw this child's pictures and she and Dean COMMITTED to HER! They are in country now and working to finalize their adoption of Francine from Reece's Rainbow.

Wanna know what is really cool? Day before yesterday, Lora caught me online on FB and sent me this message.

Lora:  Christie!!!!!! I have to thank you

Me: what did I do 

Lora: Well, it is just watching you go through what you did with your boys and ending up with Jadon is what has given me the ability to move on after Tanner and now I'm sitting here and I am SO GRATEFUL for your example!

Lora admitted it would have been so easy to quit and be sad...

but, today, Lora and I talked again yesterday after she told me they had 

THE BEST DAY EVER! **they met their girl**

I replied: I am so proud of you for staying the course.

Lora: thank you I couldn't have done it without mama's like you showing the way!

Me: sure you could...I am just happy to know that God worked through my story for at least ONE person. That's good enough for me.

How do you like that? I had just enough salt and a spark of light to help one person! I love it!! I am so happy for Lora and Dean. Two people I've never met in real life but I am just GIDDY for them!!! And, thanks to God, I have a spot in her story and I think that is awesome. 

Love, 

"I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Isaiah 45:2-3 (NIV)