Thinking of adopting?

Having adopted recently, internationally adopted, I've had a few people contact me asking what the first steps were for us and, subsequently, for their family should they decide to move forward with the idea of adopting.

Well, first I recommend reading this book The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family This is a MUST for adoptive families, period. It is a real look at the issues that may or may not be present in a child who has spent their lifetime in an orphanage.

Second, you MUST be ready to give the child in the picture back to God at any given moment. I know this all too well with what happened with Alexander before we committed to (Andriy) Jadon. You also must be aware the children you see and picture in your heart and mind rarely exist. By this I mean the level of neglect, emotional dwarfism, etc. varies GREATLY by each child.

You absolutely cannot go into this expecting to rescue a 2 or 3 year old child (with no known disabilities) and that child be like any typical child you know. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. You also cannot expect to go into this adopting a child with a known disability you are familiar and comfortable with and expect them to be like those you already know. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN.

Now, having said that, I am not trying to "sway" you away from adopting, I am simply painting a real picture. One that must be weighed. Jadon is 3 years old, with Down syndrome (which I am well versed) and is the size of a 1 year old and developmentally that of a 3-6 MONTH old. This has NOTHING to do with Down syndrome. It does, however, have EVERYTHING to do with the level of neglect my child sustained in his early years in a "good" babyhouse.

Sad thing is, this is neglect is so inconsistent from place to place and child to child. I know of children born the same year as Jadon, and with Down syndrome and from Ukraine, that come home walking, talking to an extent and able to self-feed. It is mind boggling how this happens and which kids are chosen as "dumb" and unworthy of even simple teaching.

Jadon now struggles with emotional dwarfism, which is why he is so very small. This happens when children are never touched, held, comforted, etc.

Would I do it again? For Jadon? Yes. Would I do it again if God called us? Yes. I am not entirely sure we are done but we certainly aren't ready right now. Are you?

If so, there are several places you can "find" children and assistance to begin the process. Reece's Rainbow is just one of them. There is also Rainbow Kids, About a Child, the list goes on and on. Truly. Start searching and you will see, there is a need both internationally and domestically.


love,

 "I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Isaiah 45:2-3 (NIV)