J is for...

Jared.

My oldest son, my first born child.

He has a very gentle soul (when he is not being so head strong--because believe me his is strong willed). But, he knows these past days have been rough. He has heard Shawn and I talking. I reckon that's what I get for still having a baby monitor in the boys' room and talking to my husband while I was in there putting clothes away and Jared was sitting right beside it, reading his e-reader.

Anyhow, two days ago, I was very upset and unsure of our path after some emails with my dad. Shawn had asked me how I felt, was I having second thought and did I believe Alexander was to be ours. Through my tears I told him, "I did...until my dad emailed me and said that what I believed were signs from God, may not have been after all."

Well, like I said previously, Jared overheard this conversation--I wish he hadn't and I had realized the monitor was on, but I cannot change that now. Later, about an hour later, Jared asked me, "Mom, is Papaw mad at you for adopting Alexander?" I told him, "No, Jared, Papaw is not mad. He is just worried we are not doing the right thing." Jared looked up from his e-reader and said, rather matter of fact-like I might add, "Well, you are mom. You and Shawn ARE. I just know."

I asked him how he knows and he replied, "Because, God wants him home with us." Now, I realize he could have gleaned that from the conversation, I know this. But I also know that he was comforting his momma, and I love him for it. I thank God for it.