Mourning? Grieving? Scared? Angry?

This is a post for all the mommas and daddies who just found out their little one is sporting, what I like to call, Designer Genes---otherwise known as Down syndrome.

You know, I am one of the rarities. I never mourned my son's diagnosis of Down syndrome which we learned of when he and his twin were just about 28 hours old. I don't know if having his typically chromosomed twin helped with that or if it is just my nature (I did decline all unnecessary prenatal testing). Is every little thing peachy keen day in and day out? Heck, no. I worry from time to time about things but mourning is something I never did. But if you are mourning, grieving, angry, scared or just plain TERRIFIED--What you are going through is perfectly acceptable and quite the norm for many mommas.

Maybe this will help. My oldest son, Jared, born perfect in every way (according to society) has HORRIBLE allergies and must receive immunotherapy shots monthly now, strabismus (which lead to VERY POOR fine motor skills and has been corrected once and about to be corrected again), wears glasses, has asthma, was speaking full on sentences at 15 months old, is overly smart, reads at the 3-4th grade level and he is only in the 1st grade and does not fit in amongst his peers.

My middle son (oldest of the twins), Joseph (T21), born prematurely and imperfect in too many ways (according to society---he is PERFECT in every way to me) has no allergies, no strabismus, no breathing problems, does not wear glasses, is developing quite typically, walked a bit late, has proven to be a very smart toddler and fits in beautifully among his peers.

My youngest son, Jackson (they typically chromosomed twin) born premature but perfect in every way (according to society), does not have allergies, does not need glasses, has no breathing issues, is super skinny and developing quite typically, speaks well and is quite smart as well---he has peer issues though, he likes the older kids better.

Moral of the story? ALL MY BOYS ARE PERFECT (no matter what the heck society thinks) and EACH ONE IS SPECIAL.

Each child is different, I never expected Jared to have the struggles he has had in life. With Joseph, I KNOW there will be struggles and it HELPS me to prepare. With Jared, my perfectly typical (again according to society) child has always been ANYTHING BUT TYPICAL. And dealing with his struggles has been much harder on me (and him too). Life is funny like that. The ones you 'think' will have the hardest times, might not be the ones you need to worry about so much. Let the cloud lift. Enjoy the slow pace that comes with Down syndrome. Embrace the struggles, you will be all the better for it. Give yourself the right to get pissed or hurt or scared every now and again and then BURY IT, put it to rest until you need to do it again. You will be fine and your little one with Designer Genes will be FABULOUS!!!

All my kids are special and I LOVE my son's Designer Genes.

~~~Christie~~~