I become overwhelmed with guilt. Why? Because raising Joseph has been so easy. Really. Really. Easy. Sure we have had bumps and bruises along the way but nothing drastic. Nothing catastrophic. No heart surgery, no tummy surgery, no hearing issues, no apraxia, no feeding issues. Nothing. It is rather boring actually and other than therapies it has been quite routine; I cannot say normal because what the heck is normal anyways?
He is making strides that our neurodevelopmental specialist has rarely, if ever, seen before. His IQ is gaining and is the range of a typical childs. His speech is abundant for his age. His dexterity and fine motor skills are just 6 months behind for his age. His muscle tone is great, He is walking now, climbing, stepping and working on running (though he only practices in his crib...........crazy kid). I am bragging and I know it and I feel guilty from time to time as well. So many kids with Ds struggle in many areas that Joseph never got the Ds memo on. Why? Why are we so different? Our epileptologist, Dr. Pappas, even told me if he saw Joseph out and about he would not peg him as a child with Down syndrome. And we have heard that his whole life............how is that? He looks like a child with Down syndrome. He is short of stature, walks with a funny gait, has a small head, almond shaped eyes, flatness to the back of his head.
I am not wearing rose tinted glasses. My son has Down syndrome, his brain is not what it should be if he were a typically developing child, his development is slowed, yet he is excelling in sooooo many areas. He is a wonder, an amazement, a cherished gift. He is proof in the pudding that you should NEVER put limitations on your child. You open the world up for them and let them amaze you. That is what as parents we should do. I don't dwell on his Down syndrome. I was commenting to mom on the Down syndrome board on Babycenter just the other day whose friend had told her she was too focused on her own little one's diagnosis, and I told her "Down syndrome is a speck in our lives not a boulder in our pathway." Is this why Joseph excels; because Down syndrome is truly an afterthought in our house? Or is it that he is just bursting with capacity right now that will deflate as time goes on?
I really don't have the answer to these questions, but I do know I struggle with them. Not one of my kids has followed the standard of what you would expect from them. Jared is advanced in speech and reading and has been since he began talking at 9 months. Jackson is like a little old man, very aware and soaks in all that is around him but his is my most typically developing child. And then there is Joseph who is more typical than he should be (according to stats) because of his Down syndrome. All my kids missed their apparent memos and that's ok. But the guilt is still there. My heart aches for the moms and babies that must endure the surgeries and I thank my lucky stars I am not one of them. Because I could be, at any given moment I could be with any of my kids. But for today, I will revel in the wander that is my kids and be content with just that.
Until next time, love your babies and never place them in the proverbial box, open the world to them and be amazed.
---Christie----
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