Jared was a great baby, very laid back, wonderful nurser and loved to be cuddled. He has grown quite a bit since then. He is now some 50 inches tall and is 10 times heaver than when he was born. He is smart as whip and pushes my buttons daily. We butt heads often.
But as I type this now, I am reminded of the little baby who was born nearly 8 years after his Grandma Janet went to heaven. I cannot believe my mom has been gone for 15 years. It stinks, but life does go on. At least for us it does. I was reading the tribune today and seen there was an obituary for a 5 month old. A baby boy, Gabriel Goshern, I knew his daddy. I grew up with him. I cannot imagine what Stevie (Stephen is what he goes by now but I cannot bring myself to call him that) is feeling. An angel on loan, here for just 5 months and 2 weeks. Unreal. Simply unreal to me.
I am so blessed to have my live born babies still here with me. The child I miscarried at nearly 16 weeks was never born, and while I grieve that loss, I cannot fathom having held my child and then lose them forever. I have met families through online connections who have lost their children. My heart weeps for them.
I cannot, nor do I wish too experience, imagine the pain a mother's heart feels when her child is taken from her. To never again smell the sweetness of that child, never again see their smile, never again hear their giggle, never again feel their tiny finger grasp your pinky and take your breath away. I cannot fathom. May God hold them all closely.
I was talking with a friend, I hope I can call them that, I have only met them once in person. Told me that the things one writes or says can affect a person in ways they will never know and to keep doing what I am doing. I thank them for that gift, a gift of encouragement. I needed that. We all do from time to time. So for my friend, until next time....
Love your babies, hug your friends, and never doubt that someone, somewhere is watching and listening.
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